Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
