This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
