mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
