Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
