Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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