I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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