I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
