8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Randomize
