i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
