listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
barbara walters just said penis...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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