Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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