Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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