another moral hangover. fuck.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
