I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
