nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
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