I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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