i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
