Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
