Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize