I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
