I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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