I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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