I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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