im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
