And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
