I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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