if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize