Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
