...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Your mouth is God's brothel.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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