just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
