i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
this boner is exhausting
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
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His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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