Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I know her cup size but not her name....
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
