I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
