And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
