thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Randomize