If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
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