Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
