I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
where does the pee come out of this thing
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
