i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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