I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
she peed on how many people?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
