her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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