Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
