I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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