No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
