i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
