I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize