after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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