it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
