I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
okay pat passed out under dana's car
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
you never un-have a 4some
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
