What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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