It's Friday. Sex?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goatâ€
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
