my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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