it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize