remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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