i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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