She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
