he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
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False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
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TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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