Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
