playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
