Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I think your dad took our porno
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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