I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
