If i come over, it means nothing
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
