Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
then he tried to convert me to islam
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
