question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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