Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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