This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
