I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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