in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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