So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
