Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
